Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Memory Loss

Day 21
Better late than never

I was grateful yesterday , day 21. I just forgot I was.

Ever have that happen to you? 
It was a good day .

And then something set me off
I can't really remember what it was 
Something about dinner and the tv and everyone eating randomly and being unappreciated and wondering where I went wrong and how we are not bonding and my every past mistake streaming through my head like a archived video 

Like the book " if you give a mouse a cookie"---
If you give a mom a negative thought then she will remember another and another and well you get the picture 

So I huffed and I puffed and brought the whole house down 

In like 5 minutes

And somewhere in my pity party I was throwing for myself 
I realized how quickly it all happened and how much influence I possessed

They - the family were following my lead .

And I had lead poorly . 

The saying : iIf mama ain't happy 
Ain't nobody happy .
Was a living truth at this point 

I was about to pile that guilt 
on the icing on my pity cake 
and then decided to exercise a little something in my arsenal called

" Thelaw of contrary behavior"

You do the opposite of what you are feel like doing when your feelings can't be trusted. 

I love my family that is a feeling I can trust 

My irritation- not so much 

It's not actually my idea I stole it from a Sienfeld episode where George uses it.

I about wet myself watching that episode. 

Anyway. I got it together - decided 
to spin my head around and spew words like a nail gun into the sweet hearts of my family 
and instead made dinner , asked questions specifically about their day and found 2 positive things to remark on per family member. 

And that led to more positive and grateful thoughts . Which really is the point of this whole blog :  One Grateful

One grateful thought can lead to other 
Grateful thoughts 
And string them together in a whole line of grateful ways making 
One Grateful year and 
Making me One Grateful 

So to my family I write to you and say :

That I am 
One Grateful to have you, to be with you. to love you 
One Grateful to do life with you, to forgive you, to be forgiven by you
One Grateful to be your wife, mama , and friend 

This day ends and another begins with me as 
One Grateful!

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